Please Help Stop This Reign of Terror

We have recently received reports of a small bandit, who runs around leaving destruction in her wake. Please review the following pictures and help us stop this reign of terror.


As you can see, this bandit is quite destructive. Nothing is safe. She loves to snatch and raid purses of all size and color. If I were you, I'd go check to make sure mine was safe. No, really. You should check.


Yet another gruesome scene we have captured. This shows that no place is safe from this destructive force. She can and will conquer every defense with ease.



Here is a picture of the bandit fleeing the scene. The photographer took this at great peril to her life. When cornered, this bandit is vicious. (see next pic)




Please do not attempt to stop this bandit. She takes no prisoners. She is easily agitated and lets out a high pitched screech when someone gets in her way. (No evidence yet on if this screech is lethal, although eye-witnesses have been known to cover ears and run in terror)


Caught in the act yet police were not able to apprehend the suspect. They were too busy cleaning up the mess.


And while they were distracted, the bandit moved to her next victim; a pile of freshly folded laundry. It doesn't look freshly folded you say? Well, it was.

And while this report was being written, yet another incident was reported. A container of beads was discovered, opened and strewn across an entire room. No photos are available at this time.

If you see this suspect, give her what she demands and leave the scene immediately (if it's safe to do so). Also, please take great care in protecting your laundry piles, shoes, purses, plastic garbage bags, beads, and diapers. These are the most likely of victims and scenes of crime. She also likes cats and anything else she senses she isn't suppose to play with.

Together we can stop this.

God's Little Princess

So I just had to blog about this. At the end of the day I am usually tired and worn out and have listened to loads of whining and crying, kissed many boo-boos, wiped a lot of tears and bottoms. I've cooked three meals and cleaned up after them (if I'm lucky). I've done laundry, dishes, swept, played games, done school and read many stories. By the end of the night I am a little low on patience. Actually if truth be told, by the time 7 rolls around, you better not mess with me. So tonight was bath night which adds an extra element of stress to an already dragging Mommy. I am getting Rayelle out of the shower and trying to be patient. She is taking her time, as little girls often do and I was getting angry. As I am just about to start snapping at her to hurry up, she pulls on her pj shirt and it says, "God's Little Princess." At that moment I stop. I almost started crying. A feeling of great love washed over me that I was entrusted with one of God's little princesses (actually 2). He loves her and is always patient with her no matter how much she pokes around. Just like He's patient with me when I am slow to do things He has told me to do. It's just funny how God sometimes gives us little hints and sometimes He gives us huge signs. I hope I will always remember that my kids are God's little princesses and prince and I should treat them with care.

My Greatest Accomplishments

So I decided to make a list of all of my greatest accomplishments. Some are serious but don't worry, most aren't. However, I have accomplished all of these at least once. I promise.

1. Got dressed before noon. (I know! Noon! Can you believe it!)

2. Had 3 kids naturally. (ouch)

3. Made it through the day in only one change of clothes (no vomit, pee, or poop!)

4. Told a kid , NO! and they actually listened!

5. Only changed 6 diapers in one day (I swear. I'm not lying)

6. Had an adult conversation without using the words potty, boo-boo, or poopy

7. Slept in until 7:30 am (I thought I was in heaven)

8. Slept through the night (and you thought it was only an accomplishment for babies!)

9. Went major shopping with 3 kids in under 3 hours without any catastrophes, accidents, apocalypses, or natural/unnatural disasters taking place.

10. Heard the word "Mommy" less than 10,000 times in an hour

11. Kept one baby and two kids entertained for an hour in the waiting room without adding any gray hair!

12. Went pee without someone walking in or standing at the door saying, "Mommy, what are you doing in there? Are you done yet?"

13. Played Candy Land 12 times in a row (and never won).

And the finale....

14. Bathed three kids, got them ready for bed, with stories, kisses and prayers in under 10 minutes.

Thank you thank you! No please, no more applause. I know it's astonishing but every word I said was true. I promise.

A Baby's Essential Guide to Living

Lately I've been thinking about something. It seems like babies are hardwired with certain information from birth. Where do they get this info? I think that somewhere there is a "Baby's Guide to The First Years of Life" book out there and that somehow every baby is exposed to this how-to manual in the first week of life. If this were true, I think that it would read something like this:

Read, study, memorize and then burn.

Chapter 1- Essential Words
- "No"-Learn this word as soon as possible. It drives them crazy. Also if they tell it to you, ignore it. They are just kidding.
- "Mama"- learn this next. It will get you out of a LOT of trouble. If you get caught getting into trouble, just cock your head to the side, open your eyes up really big, and say this word. You're immediately forgiven.
- "Uh-oh"- Use this word any time you drop something (on purpose or accident). It will instantly be retrieved for you again and again.

Chapter 2- Poop
Rule 1- The best time to poop is after you have been bathed, dressed for church and placed in your car seat.
Rule 2- Poop in public places when everything is quiet (like church), it's hilarious and people love it!
Rule 3- Don't poop all at once, space your poops apart, about every 20 minutes is good.

Chapter 3- Car seats
This is a torture device used for one purpose- to confine you and supress your God-given right to freedom. Resist this device at all times.
See Chapter 2 about how to get out of this device effectively

Chapter 4- Words of Wisdom
-if it's on the floor, it's yours to eat, whether it's food or not
-if you can reach it, it's yours to play with (or eat)
-it's really fun to pull the cat's (or dog's) tail and watch them run away (do this as much as possible)

Chapter 5- Sleeping
Rule 1- Never go to sleep at the same time two nights in a row
Rule 2- Wake up to play at night, this is the best time
Rule 3- Sleeping through the night is a health hazard. Avoid this as long as possible. To maintain good health you must wake up every two hours.
Rule 4- Do not fall asleep if you are by yourself. Always make sure Mommy or Daddy is in the room, rocking you and singing to you. Nursing to sleep is a bonus. If you are not COMPLETELY comfortable, don't fall asleep- cry instead.

Chapter 6- Crying
-Do this at odd times (just to keep them on their toes)
-If they make silly faces, you are obligated to stop crying for a moment but you can start again as soon as they stop
-You must cry as loud as you can or they might not here you in the next county
-Cry if you're sad, mad, hungry, uncomfortable, poopy, wet, too cold, too hot, over stimulated, tired, teething, bored, or when you want attention. This is the only way to communicate your needs so perfect THE CRY.

Chapter 7- Eating
You may eat anywhere and everywhere, for as long as you want. Don't worry about where you are or if your mommy is in a dress (she knows better). If you're hungry she should feed you (read Chapter 6 titled Crying for tips on attention getting). You should never have to wait for a meal. It is always ready and the perfect temperature it's just that sometimes mommy has to hide the food. People aren't as thrilled about seeing "them" as you are. Just scream really loud and your food will magically appear.

Above all else remember this one very important thing. When all else fails, when nothing above is working and you are truly desperate, there is one last trick you can use that will always work- say "Da-da", This single word has the power to call Daddy from whatever corner of the house he was in, pick you up and dote all the attention on you that you could ever want. Use this word wisely (however the effect it has rarely wears off).

Now that you've read this manual, please eat it, slobber on it, flush it down the toilet, tear it to shreds or whatever it is you do to destroy things. It must not fall into the parents' hands. Good luck babies! We will eventually rule the world...but for now, let's work on ruling our households.

Am I Raising A Pig or A Daughter?!?

So Kaiya went in today for her 9 month check up. I can't believe she is three months away from being one. Since she was born she's been dropping in her growth percentile. If you don't know how they measure their growth, I'll explain really quick. The doctor has a chart and on it is a bunch of curves. They measure height and weight and age and plot it on this chart. They do this at each visit and as long as your baby stays pretty consistent there is usually no worry. So when Kaiya was born, she was normal. I think she was in the 25th percentile, meaning 75% of babies in the US were larger than her. Finally a small baby since the other two were in the 80th percentile (I blame the formula). Well since her first visit, she's been dropping. 15th percentile, then 10th, now she's in the bottom 5th. This is a concern because she keeps dropping, she's not staying on a consistent curve. So her doctor (whom I love) told me I need to be feeding her more. Basically three meals, three snacks a day plus nursing. I also need to just keep feeding her until she is done, not stop when I think she should be full. Makes sense. So dinner tonight was pretty interesting. It took 10 minutes of nursing, 1/2 a banana, 2 small zucchini, 1 piece of bread, 1 mango, and 5 spoonfuls of oatmeal to fill this girl up. It also took 35 minutes to feed her because I would make her something and it wouldn't fill her up so I would have to make her something else. And this was one meal. I think my grocery bill just doubled.

A Sad Moment

This is my battle (one of many)- how protective is too protective? Where is the line? You see stories everyday in the news about kids being hurt, kidnapped, molested, killed and you think, could that have been my kid? But even on a smaller scale, you see a kid get hurt and think, that could have been my kid. How do you know when to step in and redirect an activity (like playing too rough) and when do you just let things go? How do you know what things will lead to them getting hurt and what won't? I have a friend who's little girl fell off of some playground equipment, broke her arms and had to have surgery and three pins put in. Just a simple fall from somewhere where our kids are very frequently. Sometimes I feel like wrapping my kids up in plastic bubble wrap and foam so they won't ever get hurt. Would life be better for them if they never got hurt? I don't think it would but it sure would be a lot easier on me. I know that I hurt just as much as they do. They may hurt on the outside but long after they have healed, I still feel the pain. Even now, after my little boy's in bed, all bandaged up and asleep, I feel the pain of him falling down. I can see it happening over and over and I hurt every time. If only I had told him to stop or slow down. If only I had trusted my gut and redirected the activites. If only I had just been a little more protective, maybe he wouldn't be hurting. I think as a mom we feel our childs pain more deeply than even they do. They are an extension of ourselves. We carried them for nine months, fed them, held them when they cried at 2am. How could we not feel deeply when they are sad or happy or angry? So where's the line? When should I step in and be the overprotective mama bear and when should I just let kids be kids? I don't know if I'll ever know.

The Truth About Cloth Diapers

I am here to tell you something no one else will, the real truth about cloth diapers. Get on any cloth diaper site and you'll see tons of positive reasons to do cloth. Save the environment, save money. These sounded like such great reasons so I decided to CD (cloth diaper). So I got on the internet and started researching different kinds of cloth diapers. There are at least 4 different kinds of CD. I decided to go with prefolds and covers because anything else was over $300 for a days worth of diapers. So I got the prefolds in the mail. I washed them 4 times in hot water just like they told me to. As I go to put them on my newborn I find that not only does the prefold swallow her entire bottom half but the cover I bought won't fit over it. And then there's this clever little thing called the snappi. Yeah, I'm not even going there. Safe to say, it didn't work how the cute little tutorial said it would. After all this trouble I went ahead and left her in it (after trying dozens of different ways of putting it on her) and surprise suprise...it leaked. So I washed it and left in the back of the closet with the rest of them. Fast forward a few months and I was telling someone I still wanted to do cloth diapering but I didn't know which ones to spend her college fund on and she said that her little girl had outgrown her pocket diapers (basically a cover with a pocket for an insert) and I could have them. Free is an excellent price so I took them. Three months later I'm standing over the toilet, scraping the gunkiest poop I've ever seen off the inside of the diaper with a plastic knife (b/c someone told me this was a good way to get it off) cursing the day I got the idea in my head that cloth diapers were anything but the biggest headache ever. As if I don't have enough to do with breast-feeding, homeschooling, caring for 3 kids, running a house, I also have to do an extra load of diapers everyday. And it's not just as simple as throwing them in the washer. First you have to dump off any solid stuff in the toilet. Sounds easy enough unless it's not solid but a little goopey. Then you scrape it off with lots of toilet paper (and a plastic knife). And if that doesn't work you soak them in a bucket of water which you then have to dump out somewhere and then disinfect the bucket and then make sure that the kids don't think it's a water toy and proceed to use it to fill their pool with...yeah, that happened. Secondly, you have to pull out the insert which if I didn't do this when I changed the diaper, is now cold and smells even worse. I didn't know this before but when pee dries it has the ability to knock over a grown man with just one whiff, no joke. Then I have to count to make sure I have all of them, if not, I have to run all over the house searching for that one diapers that I changed and left. Then that room stinks for hours after. Then if you don't use the exact amount of soap (which no website can tell you what it is) or the right kind of soap (which again varies greatly between websites) your diapers are liable to get a build up of stuff that not only decreases the absorption but also makes it smell like you just dried out the diapers and used them again skipping the washing step altogether. So if this happens you are suppose to run them through hot washes until they don't smell anymore which I have to tell you is more than 6 times because that's when I finally decided that it was not more cost effecient if my electricity and water bill equalled a house payment. Then to get the maximum benifit you have to hang them outside on the line to sun-dry. Not only does it have to be sunny to do this but it helps if there isn't a fire somewhere off in the distance b/c anything within a 20 miles radius is going to be absorbed into those diapers and you'll smell it for the next three washes. Then you have to actually remember that the diapers are outside otherwise you go to change the baby and after you've already taken off the dirty diaper realize that the clean ones are still outside. So with lightening quick speed you pick up the half naked baby, run outside, grab a diaper and quickly wrap it around her. But if you don't do this fast enough she's liable to pee on herself and you in which case she then needs a bath, a change of clothes and another diaper. So all this to tell you that, cloth diapering is not easier, it's not less smelly, it's not less work. In fact, you will spend most of your free time doing something that involves a diaper. However I have to say the feeling of pride I get when I wash my diapers instead of throwing them away to sit in a landfill for hundreds of years, well that almost makes it worth it......almost. Oh, that and statistically cloth diapered babies potty train at least 6 months before disposable diaper babies. So just remember, if you're thinking of cloth diapering, take a good inventory or your sanity. If you have enough, give cloth diapers a try and just think how cute those cushioned little tooshes look in a cloth diaper. :)