I find myself once again in the place I call 'the in-between place'. How familiar and frustrating it is to be here again. Familiar in that, I have been here it seems quite a few times in my short 26 years. Frustrating in that, I hate no knowing...not being in control. Not being able to see and plan for what I think is to come, or what I think should be coming.
God seems to keep bringing me back to this place. Why? Have I not learned to trust Him? I feel like when this time came again that I was pretty much over my fear of God not taking care of me and my family. Now it seems this is to deal with another area of my heart: control.
I like to be in control. I like to know where we are going and how to get there before we get in the car. I like a nice laid-out plan. I like everything in a nice package tied neatly with a pretty bow on top.
Life, unfortunately for me, hardly ever comes like that. Life is messy and out of control and not planned at all. Life's road takes twists and turns and sometimes loops and u-turns. Not the pretty package I like and want.
So here I am again. Surrendering my control of my life and path to the One who has already seen everything I will ever do and heard everything I will ever say. Here I am again saying "yes" to His plan for my life. Here I am again placing the very deepest parts of my heart in His loving hands, to mold and create me into the image of who He made me to be.
So whether I'm here for a few more days or I stay in this place for a while, I will continually place my life in His capable hands and rest in His love for me. I will raise my hands to Him like a child holds their hands up to their Daddy when they want to be held. I know He is there to pick me up and hold me and comfort me, just like a Daddy holds and comforts his child. I am His child and He is my Daddy. That will always be enough for me.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Something I learned on my vaca in Costa Rica
As most of you know, Andy and I just went to Costa Rica on vacation. This is a company paid vacation for salesman that make a certain amount each year. The first year we went to the Bahamas. Last August we went to Cabo San Lucas and this time we went to Guanacaste, Costa Rica.
Andy started blogging about our vacations in Cabo. I haven't really had any desire to do it until this time. I wanted to write from my point of view the things we did and highlight some things that happened.
I may take a few blog posts to get it all in. For this one, I mostly just want to blog about Costa Rica and some things I noticed while I was there.
When we got there, one of the first things our guide told us was the country "slogan", Pura Vida! Technically translated it means 'pure life' but in reality it means 'full of life'. Everywhere we went, people would say to us "Pura Vida" and we would answer back.
It seemed everywhere we went was "full of life." Everywhere we traveled, I saw community and family. Small houses painted in bright colors, with dirt yards had people sitting on the porch just enjoying the day. Kids running around playing with each other. Women talking and laughing.
As we drove through this town, someone from our group remarked how little these people had and how there was so much more that they didn't even know about, and how much they were missing. That remark struck me. I wonder if these people are really the ones found wanting. We may have fancier cars, bigger houses, nicer yards and better clothes but are we happier? We isolate ourselves, often move away from family for jobs or better surroundings. More often than not, we choose the television over games with friends. We would rather send an e-mail than go over and visit with someone. I wonder, if for all our 'things' if we are the more fortunate ones.
It seems to me that a people that stay near family, live simply within their means, and have little to worry about, would be the luckier ones.
So what does that mean in my life? Well, I'd love to pack up everything and move there but seeing as how that isn't an option right now, I've come up with something different. Instead of sending someone an e-mail or text, I will call them (even though I have phoneaphobia). I will make more of an effort to draw in the people around me and connect with them. I will stay in touch with my family more often than I do now. I will thank God for His blessings that He's already poured out in my life and be content with what I have now. I think this is the "Pura Vida" way of life.
Andy started blogging about our vacations in Cabo. I haven't really had any desire to do it until this time. I wanted to write from my point of view the things we did and highlight some things that happened.
I may take a few blog posts to get it all in. For this one, I mostly just want to blog about Costa Rica and some things I noticed while I was there.
When we got there, one of the first things our guide told us was the country "slogan", Pura Vida! Technically translated it means 'pure life' but in reality it means 'full of life'. Everywhere we went, people would say to us "Pura Vida" and we would answer back.
It seemed everywhere we went was "full of life." Everywhere we traveled, I saw community and family. Small houses painted in bright colors, with dirt yards had people sitting on the porch just enjoying the day. Kids running around playing with each other. Women talking and laughing.
As we drove through this town, someone from our group remarked how little these people had and how there was so much more that they didn't even know about, and how much they were missing. That remark struck me. I wonder if these people are really the ones found wanting. We may have fancier cars, bigger houses, nicer yards and better clothes but are we happier? We isolate ourselves, often move away from family for jobs or better surroundings. More often than not, we choose the television over games with friends. We would rather send an e-mail than go over and visit with someone. I wonder, if for all our 'things' if we are the more fortunate ones.
It seems to me that a people that stay near family, live simply within their means, and have little to worry about, would be the luckier ones.
So what does that mean in my life? Well, I'd love to pack up everything and move there but seeing as how that isn't an option right now, I've come up with something different. Instead of sending someone an e-mail or text, I will call them (even though I have phoneaphobia). I will make more of an effort to draw in the people around me and connect with them. I will stay in touch with my family more often than I do now. I will thank God for His blessings that He's already poured out in my life and be content with what I have now. I think this is the "Pura Vida" way of life.
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