The In-Between Place

I find myself once again in the place I call 'the in-between place'. How familiar and frustrating it is to be here again. Familiar in that, I have been here it seems quite a few times in my short 26 years. Frustrating in that, I hate no knowing...not being in control. Not being able to see and plan for what I think is to come, or what I think should be coming.

God seems to keep bringing me back to this place. Why? Have I not learned to trust Him? I feel like when this time came again that I was pretty much over my fear of God not taking care of me and my family. Now it seems this is to deal with another area of my heart: control.

I like to be in control. I like to know where we are going and how to get there before we get in the car. I like a nice laid-out plan. I like everything in a nice package tied neatly with a pretty bow on top.

Life, unfortunately for me, hardly ever comes like that. Life is messy and out of control and not planned at all. Life's road takes twists and turns and sometimes loops and u-turns. Not the pretty package I like and want.

So here I am again. Surrendering my control of my life and path to the One who has already seen everything I will ever do and heard everything I will ever say. Here I am again saying "yes" to His plan for my life. Here I am again placing the very deepest parts of my heart in His loving hands, to mold and create me into the image of who He made me to be.

So whether I'm here for a few more days or I stay in this place for a while, I will continually place my life in His capable hands and rest in His love for me. I will raise my hands to Him like a child holds their hands up to their Daddy when they want to be held. I know He is there to pick me up and hold me and comfort me, just like a Daddy holds and comforts his child. I am His child and He is my Daddy. That will always be enough for me.