My Greatest Accomplishments

So I decided to make a list of all of my greatest accomplishments. Some are serious but don't worry, most aren't. However, I have accomplished all of these at least once. I promise.

1. Got dressed before noon. (I know! Noon! Can you believe it!)

2. Had 3 kids naturally. (ouch)

3. Made it through the day in only one change of clothes (no vomit, pee, or poop!)

4. Told a kid , NO! and they actually listened!

5. Only changed 6 diapers in one day (I swear. I'm not lying)

6. Had an adult conversation without using the words potty, boo-boo, or poopy

7. Slept in until 7:30 am (I thought I was in heaven)

8. Slept through the night (and you thought it was only an accomplishment for babies!)

9. Went major shopping with 3 kids in under 3 hours without any catastrophes, accidents, apocalypses, or natural/unnatural disasters taking place.

10. Heard the word "Mommy" less than 10,000 times in an hour

11. Kept one baby and two kids entertained for an hour in the waiting room without adding any gray hair!

12. Went pee without someone walking in or standing at the door saying, "Mommy, what are you doing in there? Are you done yet?"

13. Played Candy Land 12 times in a row (and never won).

And the finale....

14. Bathed three kids, got them ready for bed, with stories, kisses and prayers in under 10 minutes.

Thank you thank you! No please, no more applause. I know it's astonishing but every word I said was true. I promise.